Journey to Self: 2014

Day 17/365

" Mene bohot se aise insaan dekhe h jinke badan par libaas nai hota ,

Or bohot se aise libaas dekhe h jinke andar insaan nahi hota"

Few days back I was watching Satyamev Jayte's episode and discussion was on gay's society in India. How they are being ignored and called different from humans.
I was really shocked to see the result, how they are treated in our society, they have been called unnaturally born and inhuman.
We all are beautiful creatures of god. There should be no discrimination at all. But the truth is something else.

About this picture,
Well few day's back one of my friend came to my place with Diwali wishes and some eagerness to know more bout me. I have never been afraid of telling people what i am ? in short I don't know how to fake it. So we went upstairs to do some talk talk. In my view this guy already earn some respect because he is working for some NGO.
So he started asking me about my gender ? He asked Are you gay Sudhanshu ? Me- I humbly said naaah! What makes you think like that ?
He was laughing all the time.. as for him being gay is the funniest thing in the world, even i am not a gay, I still felt that pain inside of being a gay and someone laughs on your face just like don't deserve to be in this society.
He again insisted me to say i m a gay, so that he can laugh for a day or his whole life.
At that time i was trying to figure out what makes him think like that ?
" Then he mentioned that my facebook profile says im interested in men . I realised by mistake yes it says that i am interested in men but and i was unaware of this mistake. But this is disturbing that if a man is interested in men , it turns out to be a matter of humiliation and the term ' gay ' as an offense.

Not too later , one more incident shook me deep inside. I was on my way to office in metro and my ears couldn't help but stuck between a conversation two men were having about homosexuality. I heard them talking about gays as if it was a discussion on terrorists . They said someday gays will unite as a gang and will create destruction and will keep their gormless demands in front of the government for greater autonomy. The discussion turned out to be warmer and offensive when the men stated their opinion that the gays have no right to live and they are inhuman. ' they should be treated and beaten with iron rods ' he added . I couldn't believe what i heard . I literally had goosebumps and felt terrible to see such extent of cruelty. The rage inside me would have burst out but I realised i was too weak and alone to fight such corrupted souls around me. I had no choice but to keep silence. I was helpless.
I didn't give a second thought before sharing these incidents with you all. But i want you to give a second and third thought before creating prejudice and a stereotype image against homosexuality.
No i am not a gay but i am human and gays are humans too , just as you are.
Amen.

Day 16/365

Isolation is essential to discover myself.

Going through the days when I am trying to find out the real me which was lost few years back, the real art in me, The creative worm desperate to come out and turn into something incredible. I hope I will find it soon.

Day 15/365

Lights around me.

"Lights around me" is related to the decoration of Diwali lights in my city Jaipur.
Well, it was the last day of Diwali celebration, i went out and found this beautiful lights very well decorated on a tree and not to forget the text on wall says "JAI GURU DEV"

Day 13/365

"the more pure , the more vulnerable you are;
You are made of dust , he was made of fire;
The light is inside you ;
The darkness surrounds you.
There are wolfs all around ,
Be the lamb ,
or be the tiger. " - Nimisha Verma

A fight within me, With me. Pure over the corrupted one. This picture is based on my personal experience, which I daily face. sometimes you can't deny or stop being around negative vibes. But you can stop yourself taking such vibes by fighting the bad in you. have you ever noticed ? your eyes are more fond of bad things, as compared to good one.

Diwali'14

Diwali or Divali also known as Deepavali and the "festival of lights", is an ancient Hindu festival celebrated in autumn every year. The festival spiritually signifies the victory of light over darkness, knowledge over ignorance, good over evil, and hope over despair.

Day 12/365

"Set yourself free, Nature whisper to me"

The place where I took this shot is near Nahargad Fort in Jaipur, called Charan mandir.
I have been to this place many times for trekking with friends and always loved it and felt complete.
By complete I meant ultimate freedom, a place where you only hear to your inner soul, complete silence and love of nature showing by.

Day 11/365

the devil is real
and he's not some little red man
with horns and a tail
he can be beautiful
because he's a fallen angel
and he used to be god's favorite.

Day 10/365

"Let there be light in the darkness," has made this light shine in our hearts so we could know the glory of God that is seen in the face of Jesus Christ.

Happy Diwali to all my Indian friends.
May god bless you and fulfill all your wishes.

This Diwali let us light up a smile not a cracker!

P.s : I am clicking my 365 days portraits daily and will be sharing it with you guys soon.

Day 9/365

“There is strong shadow where there is much light.”

While me and my sister Nimisha were out finding some new location to shoot, This beautiful shadow of tree on a wall caught my attention which was more of a painting on wall.

we immediately did the setup and clicked this one under the street (Orange) lights.

Day 8/365

You don't have a soul
You are a soul
You have a body.

Day 7/365

It is both a blessing
And a curse
To feel everything
So very deeply.

Day 6/365

" The war was between the thoughts in my mind and thoughts on my paper.
The consequence was destructive yet productive.
my tamed thoughts gained freedom"

Day 5/365

Instant transmission!

Day 4/365

" i have a love affair with her , shes the sun , shes the moon, shes the wind and the fire.
I found her somewhere hidden in my mind.
I'll keep her hidden. Hidden and safe. "

Day 3/365

You're a ghost driving a meat coated skeleton made from stardust,
what do you have to be scared of ?

Day 2/365

" now they calls it time saving to find a life in screens,
Alas , time laughs and makes an escape with the life itself,
Leaving ashes of humans and screens behind "

Day 1/365

"and then you turn into a machine with bones and meat, Your legs walk where your misery leads you, Your hands work like your only god. "

Don't you ever think we humans are turning into robots ?
Machine with bones and meat ?
We follow the same schedule.. we listen to the orders and some does not sleep ?

This picture is related to my life somehow!
It depicts my daily life routine in it. Holding a camera bag and rushing to office But having dreams in my mind.. waiting to break through.. going into the wild.. ultimate freedom.. on the road...!
My mind shows it all..
may be i was habitual of my daily routine but this 356 days project has given me new life .
I have started this project to believe in my existence as a human not as robot.

SALVATION

This series was displayed at IMERA-14 and won first prize!

" My soul is too consumed by reality " she thought intensely, losing her faith over fantasies. Survival was her elegance. It was too soon that she decided to attain the realest thing - 'Salvation'

They have not forgotten the Mysteries,' she said, ‘they have found them too difficult. They want a God who will care for them, who will not demand that they struggle for enlightenment, but who will accept them just as they are, with all their sins, and take away their sins with repentance. It is not so, it will never be so, but perhaps it is the only way the unenlightened can bear to think of their Gods.

Agony, tiredness and disappintments surround her.
All her effort to salvation go in vain cries herself to sleep.
Enters a better state than reality.

Now if i am walking through the rain
And i hear you call my name
I will break into a run without a pause.

I am a broken lump of clay.
Fill me with your spirit, and let me be used as a witness for your message of SALVATION.

(Screams holding the bars of sins)
Let the love of Jesus be shown through me.
Lord use me.

“I can't believe in something that doesn't believe in me!
-Salvation”

Eyes of Jaipur.

Mesmerizing eyes of Jaipur.

Picture clicked at Jalmahal, Jaipur Rajasthan

Voice of Prabhu.

Picture clicked at Iscon temple, Punjabi Bagh

Lovely atmosphere !

Splendid Voice !
Under the presence of Prabhu Krishna <3

Everything that drowns me makes me wanna fly.

Model - Shivangi sharma

Had an amazing time with Shivangi, she was really active and elated during the shoot. We did a couple of rounds and at last nailed it with this beautiful image.

I must say she is very ardent about modelling.

Long way to go , Cant wait for the rain to stop !

well, it was my first day with my Nikon D7100, and Mr. Shekhar (my guru) asked me what happens in streets when it starts raining ? (just to check my imagination power as a photographer)
and I answered with this photograph that very evening.

This photograph was exhibited in DLF palace, Saket New Delhi.